“The truth is, many of us are looking for the approval of those closest to us on some level or another. And often this is disguised by the desire to have someone understand what we are talking about or going through, anything important to us about ourselves. I always thought I just wanted them to ‘get it.’ In reality, I wanted them to get it so that they would be okay with me.”- JADE MAZARIN
Validity of the advice vs seeking validation?
The truth is that most of us seek validation occasionally. I dont seek for the advice but for validation and sometimes too often. Unfortunately, it became a need and its unhealthy because it doesn’t make me assertive nor stay strong to what I truly think. For some subjects, it makes me doubt, it makes me question my own capacities in some areas and it makes me indecisive and as a result I have some opinions that are not well formed.
I chose to write about it and just say it out loud because I want to tell myself to take my own advice and work hard to rewire my brain. My motto is mind/matter and I want to be able to apply it in this particular area. I think my first step is to determine what is the real cause of this need of validation from others and understand it before correcting it. For now I think its part of the way my mind works and makes me think of the saying “old habits die hard”. In this case it’s like if a certain way of mind is still lingering and I decided to not accept it anymore. This mindset brings me down and like I have overcome many things and got rid of so many insecurities, I am more then ready to work on this and work on accepting my own gut, my own opinions and validating what I think despite others’ opinions.
This may be odd, but there is something so soothing of the sound of rain drops hitting a window. Looking outside, it’s dark, but there is just enough light for you to see the drops accumulating on the window and then dripping down slowly. Its quite relaxing to listen to the hit of every drop on the window while with a good book and a savoury glass of red wine.
These past months, my mind has been juggling so many things at once and tonight the sound of raindrops hitting my window made me want to write and simply let my thoughts wander. I like to remind myself of how so many things may just pass us by… this was a very simple moment but one I enjoyed a lot.
I used to write a lot about my never ending thoughts and my overthinking but lately I am on OVERLOAD mode where I can barely think but only execute and make quick decisions. I have never multitasked as much as the past few months and even though it is ALL for great things and amazing new steps, it’s very difficult to always be on the GO.
I am in survival mode.
My brain is on overload;
It may implode!
My heart is racing;
It’s exciting, but overwhelming.
I remind myself to keep smiling!
Regardless of the madness,
I am in the path of my ultimate happiness;
Togetherness & blissfulness.
Its funny because I am a highly organized person and yet I feel like my brain is a mess and it makes me feel weird! I guess I am out of comfort zone but it is teaching me a lot.
Writing is liberating
Writing is empowering
Writing is fascinating
Writing is indicating
Writing is freeing
Writing is motivating
Writing is inspiring
Writing is isolating
Writing is gathering
Writing is bettering…
Writing is my way of coping and sometimes a way to keep breathing.
When I write I empty my heart and I put my mind to rest…
“We do not learn from experience. We learn from reflecting on experience.” – John Dewey
John Dewey, a philosopher, psychologist and educational reformer, stressed the importance of the art of thinking. He said that the essentials of thinking include maintaining a state of doubt and inquiry.
Recently, I have been thinking about this (sens the pun!). I strongly believe that one learns by doing and by living, but I am certain that one truly learns and grows by reflecting on their own life experiences. Whatever isn’t reflected, isn’t retained.
Reflecting on my life and on my many experiences, wether positive or negative, has helped me gain insight on myself. In a way, it helped me know myself better and it allowed me put many things in perspective by learning to weigh what truly matters and what doesn’t.
On a daily basis, I try to reflect and weigh the good and the bad and choose what will affect me and my mood and what won’t. I am a firm believer in mind over matter, but that is only the case because I value taking a step back and constantly reflecting on all of the positive around me. To ensure that I take away the most out of every experience. I reflect by writing because it was the only way to empty the many many thoughts out of my head. When I write it’s like having a conversation with myself but many times it’s also a source of relief … it sometimes feels like someone is listening to each word jotted down. Writing helps me see clearly, listen to my inner voice and mainly its my way of processing anything that comes my way.
I value Dewey’s statement as I know that reflecting leads to personal growth. I love these moments where I let my mind float and my hand write (or type) …it simply enriches my life.