“The truth is, many of us are looking for the approval of those closest to us on some level or another. And often this is disguised by the desire to have someone understand what we are talking about or going through, anything important to us about ourselves. I always thought I just wanted them to ‘get it.’ In reality, I wanted them to get it so that they would be okay with me.”- JADE MAZARIN
Validity of the advice vs seeking validation?
The truth is that most of us seek validation occasionally. I dont seek for the advice but for validation and sometimes too often. Unfortunately, it became a need and its unhealthy because it doesn’t make me assertive nor stay strong to what I truly think. For some subjects, it makes me doubt, it makes me question my own capacities in some areas and it makes me indecisive and as a result I have some opinions that are not well formed.
I chose to write about it and just say it out loud because I want to tell myself to take my own advice and work hard to rewire my brain. My motto is mind/matter and I want to be able to apply it in this particular area. I think my first step is to determine what is the real cause of this need of validation from others and understand it before correcting it. For now I think its part of the way my mind works and makes me think of the saying “old habits die hard”. In this case it’s like if a certain way of mind is still lingering and I decided to not accept it anymore. This mindset brings me down and like I have overcome many things and got rid of so many insecurities, I am more then ready to work on this and work on accepting my own gut, my own opinions and validating what I think despite others’ opinions.